Best of 100: Some quick thoughts about blogging.

Earlier today I was going through some of our photos, trying to decide which ones I wanted to print, when I stopped on this one. Everything in this picture makes me laugh. Henry's frustration in the monster costume's head piece is obvious, but beyond the cute "he's going to just looove this photo when he's older," there's a bit more here that got my wheels turning.

I started thinking about blogging. And how I might take 100 photos, but I'll post 20 here. And guess what? Those 20 photos are the best of the bunch. If we're talking about this past Halloween we probably tried for a good 10 minutes to get Henry to keep his hat on long enough so we could capture the image of him dressed up for his first trick-or-treat. If I wanted to I could have posted 20 photos of our squirmy little costume-hating boy, arching his back and just not having it, but that wouldn't be pretty to look at would it? So I put up the good ones, where we got a slight smile and we're all looking at the camera.

And isn't that kind of blogging in a nutshell for most people?  Putting your best self forward. And adding to the idea of taking 100 photos and choosing the best, there might be 100 moments in a day that I could blog about. I'm going to choose just a few and leave the rest. In my world, on my blog, I choose the positive. I choose to share the happy moments, and although I try to touch on random things here or there, even if I was in the worst mood, was a total brat to my husband, or just felt totally sad all day, I won't usually get into it. But it still exists. And I think as a reader (and writer) of blogs it's important to remember this. It's so easy to get caught up in the very attractive world that's put out there. Many years ago when I was just starting out in the whole online thing I can remember feeling those very unwelcome pangs of not measuring up when I'd take a peek at so many other sites or blogs that portrayed a "perfect" life. Although I was so happy in what I was doing, there always seemed to be someone else doing something so much cooler. As I got older and wiser though I realized that yes, of course there is. There always will be. The key to happiness to be happy with you. And if you're not, be inspired and change it. Getting lost in wishing your life was like someone else's is the biggest waste of time there is, and just feeds into that negative mindset. Blogs have the potential to play a huge role in that because essentially these sites are just little windows into other peoples' lives. You just need to choose with what perspective you're viewing from.

I think at times that because I am a happy person that really, really thrives on positivity, this blog often reflects only that. I try and be 110% me at all times here, as authentic as I can get (without throwing in some curse words), but still, this space is only a small part of me and my days. I try and remember that same thing when I am reading other blogs too, and I think it's an important thing to keep in in the back of your mind as you both read and write. 

That's all. I wasn't even going to blog again tonight but I was working on a project for another site and got sidetracked looking at photos, then started thinking, and now, here we are. :)

xoxo

Finding your place- tips for new bloggers.

 

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I get emails almost everyday asking for tips on blogging, how to start blogging, ways to grow readership, etc., so I thought I would take a few of these questions and post about them every so often.

The first thing you need to know about me and this blog is that I never, ever intended for it to grow as it did. I started out with four or five readers just a few years ago, and it just grew and grew as I invested more time into it.  By nature I am a writer; most of my readers know this, but my undergrad degree was in English Literature and my Master's is in English Education. I taught high school English for close to six years before stepping away to become a full-time stay at home Mom, but even so, reading and writing are still a huge part of my life and I end each day doing one or the other.

For me, my blog is my creative outlet. I enjoy having a space to write in everyday, and the fact that people want to read it is just a really fun bonus. As time has gone on of course having readers changes the shape of blogging a little- if this blog really was just for me I definitely wouldn't have giveaways or link posts- but they're fun. And giveaways are my way of saying "thank you" to my readers and offer them a chance to win something awesome that I've either used before or can totally endorse.

But when it comes down to it, this blog is still about me. I post about my life, stories from my past and present, hopes for my future, things I love, etc. I try and stay true to that. It's hard to not get caught up in the competition aspect of blogging; so-and-so has this many more hits a month, this many readers, so on and so forth. But the moment I feel that way I yank myself right out of that mentality because at the root of it, it's ridiculous. How on earth could I compare my blog to someone else's? This is about my life and that's where it is unique. I am me, and you are you. Comparing it to another is like apples and oranges (see my post on "blog-petition" here). So I step back, I remind myself of my reasons for doing this, and get back to the basics.  I want to enjoy this space and feel like I am creating something tangible from all of our little moments, putting something out there, and using my brain on a daily basis. I don't want this to be a negative place by my own creation.

It's taken me a few years to get to this point though. And I still get those feelings every so often of not measuring up. Although I'm still not sure who or what exactly I'm measuring up to- I think at times in anything creative it's possible construct this ruler in our minds that we hold ourselves to. It's silly though, because if you're blogging for you, the rest of it should just fall to the side. Luckily now I know that this disenchantment I feel is only a passing mood and if I just get back to what's important and take some time to work on a personal post or something from my heart...I feel a-okay. Because like I said above, that's the reason I do this.

With all of that said, here are a few tips for new bloggers. I'm by no means an expert, but I think some of you may find this helpful and at the lease it's a good reminder for myself!

1. Blog to blog.

Such simple advice but so important.  When people ask me how to "grow" their blog, I usually don't know what to tell them outside of this. I feel like when you start a blog and try and gain readers and followers and what ever else, that is so obvious to other people. And don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for doing that...but to me, that isn't considered a blog, it's considered a business. In my case, my blog became a business in a way when I started accepting sponsors, but that was only after I had many readers, and at the root of it I am still doing what I love 100%. The sponsors are an added bonus and make me feel so lucky every day that I am able to make money doing what I love. I do believe that if I would have gone into this trying to get to the point of having ads, trying to make money...I would have failed. But instead it took me a few years, writing and writing everyday, meeting other people, putting myself out there...and it happened very naturally.  I blogged to blog. So that is my best advice to new bloggers. Just keep doing what you're doing, and keep your purpose at the front of your mind, be it a creative outlet, meeting new people, or finding a community you feel a part of.

2. Don't get discouraged.

This follows along with number one. So great, you're blogging to blog. But no one's reading it. You feel like you're putting yourself out there, creating these awesome posts, but all you hear are crickets. Oh gosh. Let me tell you- I know how rough it can feel to try at something (and try and try again) and to feel like you're just staying in the same place.  And in blogging I think it's so much easier to be really aware of this because it's simple to look and see a lack of comments or numbers or readers. But seriously, do not give up if it's something you really love doing. None of that stuff is important and everyone has to start somewhere. When you feel discouraged, remember that there is always at least one person who is reading what you have to say, valuing you, and enjoying it. The more you interact with others, the more you will be able to meet people who "get" you, and get what your blog is all about. And if you are just blogging to blog, that will radiate out. Like attracts like, so if you put it out there, you're bound to meet others on the same wavelength.

3. Find your place.

Everyone has something they love, something they excel at, something that makes them really happy. The best part about blogging is that you are able to put it out into the world and make friends with like-minded folks. There are all sorts of blogs from fashion to lifestyle to mommy blogs, cooking blogs to religion-based blogs.  And this isn't to say that you need to choose an identity and stick to it, in a blogging-tunnel vision sort of way. By "finding your place" I mean finding what works for you.  Sometimes Sweet is considered a lifestyle blog, and I like that, because I like to post about anything and everything that I want. I've tried out all sorts of posts, and when I feel like I'm most me is through posts like this, my Journal Day posts, or my random posts about my day.  I feel proud of the posts where I've written something I can stand behind. Posts I hate doing? Fashion posts, outfit posts, etc. I tried (and tried again) to get into them, but I feel no joy putting on an outfit and taking photos of it. For some people, this is what makes them happy and it's totally a part of what makes their blog theirs'. But for me, no. Figuring this out was an important part of figuring out my blog's identity. I tried for awhile to get into it, accepted clothing from companies and sponsors, but found myself getting incredibly stressed out and pressured to blog about these items. I felt like it wasn't me. This past year I stopped doing things I didn't enjoy or felt that pressure to do. I took a long look at my blog and decided what direction I wanted it to go into, and then did that. For me that means things like Journal Day, more daily posts, and enjoying going out and taking quality photos when I can. If you are having trouble figuring it out what exactly you want out of your blog, try giving yourself a schedule, and try out all different types of posts. Maybe Monday do a music post, Tuesday, inspiration. Wednesday an outfit post, Thursday talk about something important to you. So on and so forth. By the end of a couple of weeks you will have figured out what works for you, and what doesn't. Or maybe it ALL works for you, which would be awesome too.

Overall, remember that whenever you are creating something original and putting it out into the world it is truly perfect, because you created it. And when you are being your 100% true, authentic self, nothing is more attractive. I promise that if you keep doing what you're doing, eventually you will find yourself surrounded by like-minded people.

But one last thought before I go...and this one is the most important of ALL...

4. Remember that a blog is just that, a BLOG.

It's so easy to get sucked into this crazy, social media-fueled internet world. If you wanted to you could spend hours reading blogs, commenting, writing, going back and forth, clicking and clicking and clicking on link after link. Things might start to seem more important than they are, you might get caught up in feeling sad about comments or numbers or readers, like I mentioned above. But guess what? Real life out there, that's what's important. All of this stuff is actually really silly. And that's not to downplay everything I said up there, because hello, I LOVE blogging and it does hold importance in my life. But to me, this space here is supposed to be a little supplement to my world. An add-on. Something that brings me joy, a hobby, a way to put a little bit of my creativity out there. So if you feel crappy more than happy (total unintentional rhyme) about this whole thing, than take a step back and ask yourself why it really matters anyway. Because it doesn't.

Happy blogging! xo

Blog life.

Last night while emailing with a friend, I got to thinking about the amount of time blogging takes up in my little world and how this affects the people around me.  I started thinking about how often I ask Hank to be a part of whatever it is I'm doing, and how lucky I am that he's happy to oblige. He's absolutely a part of this little online world of mine, but more so behind the scenes than anything- most likely taking photos for me, or listening to a rough draft of an idea I have. But even though Hank's fine with helping me out, he isn't one to share personal things about himself; he dislikes Facebook and rarely posts anything outside of computer, music, or sports talk on Twitter. He's just not into sharing in that way.

Over the years I've scaled back a lot of what I put out there. Sure, I talk a lot about topics that are relevant to my life both in the past and present, lessons I've learned, hopes for the future...but that's really just a small part of everything that makes up my day to day happenings and ultimately me as a person. But still, I share, on one level or another. Most of my "real life" friends don't even have blogs, or have any interest in ever starting a blog. Some of them are astonished when they learn about the size of my audience here, and I usually get the same questions about privacy, safety, and of course the big question: why?

People don't always seem to "get" blogging, and I sort of feel like you either get it, or you don't. A lot of my friends poke fun at me, saying things like, "this better get its own post" when we're out and about, and on the flip side I've even had friends tell me it made them feel uncomfortable to read my blog because they just felt like another "reader," and not like my close friend. I've had all sorts of reactions ranging from super positive (make me one!) to the very negative (you're going to get stalked!). As far as my family, my parents are totally supportive and think it's actually really cool. I've caught my Dad explaining my blogging and writing accomplishments to his friends like he was recounting my soccer highlights back in the day, which is really funny and sweet. And like I mentioned before, Hank is incredibly supportive too- he kind of has to be I guess, since I do love writing and blogging here so much- but he's genuinely and enthusiastically supportive, which is even better.

On the other hand, I have other family members who do not know about this space and probably never will. They wouldn't get it, they'd get freaked out that thousands of people come here everyday, and probably try to convince me to stop. For that reason, I stick to blogging mainly about my immediate family; it just makes things easier to not have anyone else involved.

But why am I telling you all of this? Because I am so, so curious about your blogging experience, as far as the people around you. What do your friends think? Parents? Partner? Are you supported in your endeavors or do you find that people think it's weird? 

I'd love to hear what you have to say, so feel free to share in the comments below! :)

"Blog-petition" (and 3 ways to avoid it)

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The other week I wrote about "Mom-petition" on HelloGiggles...and while I was doing so, I started to draft a post here about a different kind of competition - one that may be a little closer to home to many of you...blog-petition. Yes, that's right, I just made up a word! Blog + competition = you guessed it, blog-petition.

Being involved in the blog world is an interesting thing- you're surrounded by people who come from all walks of life. There are chefs and writers, there are designers and crafters. Mommy blogs and pregnancy blogs. Photography aficionados and incredible videographers. There's inspiration around every corner, and sometimes it can be hard to watch all of these amazing people do such amazing things, without feeling like you need to "keep up."

When I first starting blogging I felt that way. Everywhere I looked there was someone else doing something better, wearing something prettier, and documenting it in such a way that it was easy to feel like I would never be able to compare.  But as I matured a bit, and my blog matured, I realized that by turning blogging into a competition, I was only taking away from myself and my own blog.  And sure, competition is healthy (and really great in other arenas), but in a world where I was just trying to find my place and share a bit about my own life, it was completely self-defeating to have these negative thoughts swirling around my head.  I was blogging for me, so why did I feel like I couldn't keep up?  Where was this imaginary measuring stick that I had already determined was way over my head?

And so I decided to just do it for me.  I kept blogging, kept sharing bits of my world, and because my story is indeed unique to my world, there was no competition.  Just as there is only one you, there is just one me...and because we are all so different, each of us our own person, our own voice and perspective, there is no need to compete when you are being your 100% true, authentic self.  And so here are three things that have helped me avoid being "blog-petitive," and maybe they will help you too.


1) Being your 100% authentic self will free you from the need to compete with others.  When you are being you, the real you, the you that doesn't worry about what others think, the you that just creates and produces because it comes from your heart, your mind, wherever, there is no competition. On this blog I share my daily life, my writing, and interesting features from folks all around the world. Sure, as a whole someone could look at my blog and want to compete with me to be the "better" blog, but really, at the root, how is that competition even possible? My life is my life. This other fictitious person cannot have their own Hank, their own Henry, the same Tattoo Tuesday or all of my personal stories and writings- they can't do this because my life and experiences are unique to me. So comparing the things I do and create with the things someone else does makes no sense. Sure, you can say that some other blog is more interesting than that blog, the writing is better, their significant other seems sweeter, or whatever, but when it comes down to it, it's apples and oranges. I am me, and you are you. Thinking about blogging this way has really made me appreciate every individual and their corners of the internet for their own unique qualities, and has allowed me to really figure out what my little corner is all about too.


2) Realize that there is no finish line. There really isn't. There is no one that will one day say to you, "You have written the very best blog in the entire world! You win!" Nope. Not gonna happen. But what there is, is you! There's a feeling after you produce a really awesome post- there's some pride in there, an excitement about sharing it- and that's the feeling you should strive for. Every time you post something that you love, you've measured up, because you are the only one who sees this imaginary measuring stick to begin with.


3) Know and appreciate your own strengths. We have our strengths, and we all have our weaknesses. My strength lies in writing, where as I'm certainly not the best when it comes to fashion posts and I'm definitely not that good at making my posts exceptionally pretty.  Many of my blog friends are extremely great at these things though, but I don't look at them and wish with all of my heart that I could be as fashionable as so-and-so, have such a great eye for design like whats-her-name, or wish I was able to take photos like you-know-who.  Instead I look at what I am good at and appreciate those qualities, then look at my talented friends and learn from them, and get inspired to improve in areas I feel like I would like to learn more about.

In the end, it's all about supporting rather than competing. Lifting each other up instead of fighting to get ahead. Getting inspired rather than intimidated. Comparing yourself to everyone else is a losing battle because there will always be someone smarter, prettier, seemingly happier than you. Turning a positive, fun thing into a competition takes away from the sense of self in each person's space. Find inspiration and motivation out there, but then focus on yourself and what you are creating, and I promise you will find a lot more happiness and value in this blogging community.

Happy blogging!