Papa Said V.7

photo graciously provided via Jess

This week's Papa Said is coming from another one of my fave online pals, Jess!  Jess writes the blog TART, which is full of her and her husband's day to day adventures, living in Hawaii and raising their gorgeous daughter Rowan.  If you're a regular reader, you'll even notice that the Papa Said image up there has been Jess' hubby Derek (and Rowan) all along!  When they agreed to participate in this series I was ecstatic- their family is so cute and I was excited to see what Derek would send over. I really love what he said too- especially number two. And be sure to stop by TART- it's one of my daily reads and Jess does such a great job of documenting Rowan's life and all of the fun they have. Rowan is one of the cutest babies I have ever seen, and another one of those doe-eyed beauties that makes me want to have a little girl, stat!  

Thank you guys, for being a part of Papa Said!

You play drums then change a diaper, work on your vintage cars then kiss a boo boo, put on your leopard high tops then rock a BabyBjorn. Happy Father's Day to the sweetest and coolest papa in the world. You're everything to me and Rowan and we couldn't be luckier. (editor's note: Jess originally sent this over on Father's Day!)

And now here's 3 pieces of advice from Derek:
 

1) Part of taking care of your kid is taking care of your marriage. Parenting flows better if your general home life does. Happy wife, happy life! 

2) Having a kid is a 24/7 job for both parents. I may be working all day but so is Jess, taking care of Rowan. So when I come home from work we break even and equally take care of her. I don't expect to be pampered and for Jess to continue all the "work"- she needs a break too. You should want to share that work anyway!

3) Don't buy a bunch of toys. They just end up wanting water bottles and cardboard boxes.

 

Papa Said V.6

photo graciously provided via Jess

This week's edition comes from one of my closest online friends, who has also become a great "real life" friend too- Erin of Happy Owl!  Erin is one of the most genuine, kind (and hello, beautiful!) people I've met via blogging, and I feel so thankful I did. Whether it's her laughing at me leaving such "teacher-like" voice mails, or me receiving one of her amazingly supportive emails, Erin always manages to leave a smile on my face.  And her hubby Mike seems no different. In their photos I always see him being so active with their two incredibly adorable boys, and you can just tell that this family knows how to have a good time. I'm so excited to have Erin here on my blog again, and I'm very thankful that Mike took some time out to share a bit with us, too! So here you go, Erin and Mike's "Papa Said!"

 

Hi everyone! My name is Erin from Happy Owl and I am so excited to talk about my favorite people, my boys! I am married to an amazing man named Mike and we have two fabulous sons, Noah 6 and Logan 2. We live in gorgeous Juneau, Alaska which is a perfect place to raise our little dudes.

My mister works for youth corrections and the fire department so his work hours are crazy. With that being said, he still makes us his priority above everything. He plays with the boys for hours, has light saber fights, make huge living room forts and is the best wrestler. Noah says he has the best daddy because, "he loves me and we do really cool stuff together!" Mike is such a tender dad and the boys and I adore him. Thank you Danielle for letting me brag about my man...

Now here are a few tips Mike has for dad's out there:

1. Being raised by a single mother, I never had a dad. So my focus is to make sure my kids never feel the void I did by not having a father.

2. Foster and nourish the relationships with your children and support and develop their individual interests. Noah loves to fish with dad but Logan loves watching float planes all day.

3. It's important to keep in mind kids are a blank slate from birth and our actions have long lasting effects on shaping their lives. I see kids on a daily basis whose lives have been negatively impacted and the common denominator generally starts with issues in the home.

Papa Said V.5

photo graciously provided via Jess

This week's Papa Said comes from one of the sweetest mamas in all of internet land, Mandy of Harper's Happenings! Her daughter, Harper, often makes me want to have a daughter next with her doe eyes and infectious little smile. She's such a doll, and you can see why- Mandy and her husband Scot are dolls too (sorry, Scot).  But really, they're great, and Mandy's blog is always so fun to read- full of witty anecdotes, funny one-liners, great photos, and an overall welcome feeling that is sure to make any reader feel right at home. Thanks Mandy and Scott for being a part of Sometimes Sweet today!

My husband Scot (Scot with one T, as I refer to him on the regular) is the greatest guy I could have ever asked for. Two and half years ago he became the best daddy my daughter Harper could have asked for. He works hard to make sure we are safe and taken care of, which means more than I can really say here! He's super funny, sweet, caring and he loves to take care of us, his girls. When he comes home from work, he barely gets out of his work clothes before he's rolling around on the ground playing with Harper. He has always been super helpful, but these toddler years really suit him. I can see how much he enjoys his time with her being crazy and enjoying all the silliness that two year olds bring. He's superdad in my book!

So...My name is Scot and recently I was asked by my wife Mandy if I wanted to share some advice on being a dad with total strangers. She eventually convinced me that it wasn't nearly as creepy as it sounded, so I agreed. We've been married for almost 5 years and have a 2 year old daughter named Harper. Here are some things that I've learned along the way:

1) Treat your kids like humans - I always talk to kids like they're adults. Early on I did it because I thought it was funny to discuss things like religion with someone that most likely had a load in their pants, but after a while you realize just how much they can comprehend. A better level of understanding between one another helps in many areas. You help them develop their own personality, establish a mutual respect for each other, and you can get them to say things like "that's a problem" when you run out of graham crackers.

2) Work hard/Play hard - When Mandy and I became parents we both were working. The plan was always for Mandy to return to work at some point just for financial reasons, but once we had Harper something changed. We decided that we were going to do everything we could so that she could stay home and raise our new daughter. With a lot of hard work we've been able to make it work. It requires a lot of long days and it has added some additional stresses to both of us, but I wouldn't have it any other way. But you've got to leave work at work. Find a way to leave leave it at the door, because your family is the reason you work hard. You don't want to let your job get in the way of getting to know your kids.

3) If mama ain't happy, no one's happy - Boys, take care of your girls. They are the nervous system of your family. Plus, you have to know that if she goes down, you're screwed. So it's always in your best interest to keep mama smiling. I shouldn't need to tell you how to make them happy. You married them, you figure it out.

Papa Said V.4

photo via Jess

This week's Papa Said is from one of my favorite families. Jess and I actually met this past year at the AZ Blogger Meetup, and it was such an amazing time. She's just a wonderful person, inside and out, and I feel lucky to call her a friend. It's so neat to have Derek here today too, and I think his advice is priceless. So thanks Youngsmas, for being a part of Sometimes Sweet today! Be sure to head over to Jess' blog too- it's one of my must-reads.

Boy did I get lucky with my husband, Derek. He plays so many roles; spouse, parent, musician, best friend, cook, diaper changer, kid bather, bedtime reader... And is better than me at every single one of those titles! Damnit! We both hate the word "team", but really, he is the best parenting teammate you could ask for. The yin to my yang. The peanut butter to my jelly. The Ike to my Tina... Wait that's not a good example...

Also, he's either telepathic or has deciphered my eyebrow raising and will do exactly what I was thinking without me even yelling from across the room, "hey, babe?!" Now THAT is talent.

The moment I became a father I knew I'd never be the same again. I held Zoe for the first time in that hospital room and my heart just melted. I was instantly so in love with her. All the things I had been so worried about for those last 9 months, finances, living situation, my lack of experience, the fact that I was a full time touring musician. These things seemed to not matter anymore. I was gonna be Okay! She became my reason for living. My little princess. She's growing up to be so beautiful, and smart, and outgoing. Then a year and a half later Ezra arrived. The man cub. The bruiser, the big joker always smiling and laughing.

These kids are my absolute pride and joy and I honestly cant imagine a life without them. And with Jess (the doe) by my side I know we are going to see them grow up to do great things.

Fatherly Advice


1. Just because you have kids it doesn't mean your life as you knew it has to end.

Just because you're a dad doesn't mean you're gonna all of a sudden turn into some dork with Tevas and a fanny pack. I still am the same as before. I still play music and have the same friends and have the same hobbies. Ive found that my former life has been very welcoming to me with kids. Plus the kids love going to the shows and playing with the drums. Fans of the band actually think its cool, I cant tell you how many Bleeding Through fans know the kids by name and have even brought gifts for them. It's been awesome.

2. Make Time

I always told myself Id be a fun dad. When I was growing up i remember my dad drinking and laying on the couch all weekend. Such a bum out. Sure, I'm tired after work, and I'm also super busy sometimes. Even when life is super busy, its as easy as just including the kids in what you are doing. Last week I brought Ezra along to a band meeting, he had a blast! One of Zoe's favorite things to do is going to the grocery store. I always bring her. Really she just wants my attention. It makes her feel special to think I need her to come to the store with me. As much as id like to go to Disneyland every day I know it doesn't matter. All they really want is to be with me. how cool is that?


3. Just wear the Björn

One of the funniest things I've noticed is this whole thing with diaper bags for men and other ways to make a man look cool with baby gear. Give me a break. Having a (Men's) diaper bag makes you look like a bigger putz than just carrying your wife's Petunia Pickle bottom. Its like your embarrassed to be a parent or something. Plus I'm not spending the money on my own diaper bag. Also when Zoe was born I walked around with her in the Baby Björn and people were so surprised. They say things like "oh that's so great that he's a baby wearer" I just figured it was the thing to do. The kids always loved it in the Björn and I never thought of it as this thing, like I'm part of some weird baby wearing culture. I thought it was a great experience and would recommend it to all parents.

Papa Said V.3

photo via Jess

Today's Papa Said comes from one of my favorite blogging mamas, Rachel!  I think it's always so neat to see "the man behind/alongside the blogger," and today is definitely a treat. Rachel has such a strong blogging voice and I absolutely adored hearing a bit of Brett's, too. Perhaps she can convince him to do a weekly feature on Smile and Wave? Eh? Either way, thank you Rachel and thank you Brett!

Brett is the kind of man that does most everything intentionally. He is always ready to learn from others, figure out the best approach, do his homework, etc. One of the reasons I was so attracted to him was his desire to be a good husband and father. When the other guys at college were joking about flag football and bragging about not having studied for their final he was reading books on love languages and leadership. He's been a serious guy from the start when it came to his wife and kids and after almost nine years we've still got it!

My favorite thing about Brett in regards to fatherhood is how playful he is with our kids. He's usually always ready to wrestle with Sebastian and tickle Ruby. I can never get them to laugh as hard as he does! I'm so thankful for who he is and how he loves us.

Three pieces of advice from Brett:

1. I want to keep the immediate moment's tension balanced with the long term view of who I am shaping my kids to be. Obedience in the moment is important, but teaching and modeling what you want is better.

2. Sometimes a situation, particularly a disciplinary situation, calls for a strict response and sometimes it doesn't. Reading and reacting to the situation is a much better way to parent than responding the same way, every time for every child.

3. I like to tell my kids I love them all of the time, when they're being great and when they're acting out. I also apologize when I lose my temper, and hopefully letting them see my faults will prove to be a good move once they're older.

Papa Said V.2

 

image via Jess

Welcome to the second installment of Papa Said! Isn't it neat to hear the guy's point of view? I'm loving it!  This week I am so excited to have the husband of one of the sweetest, most amazing, wonderful, dearest (catch my drift?) ladies in the whole wide world- Jess!  If you don't already read her blog you are absolutely missing out, my friends. She is a true ray of sunshine, and obviously her wonderful husband is too. Welcome to Sometimes Sweet, Samuel! Thanks again for being a part of this feature.

Jess:
I fell in love with my husband on a whole new level the moment I saw the look on his face when he first held our little boy and sang to him for the first time with the most glorious smile and eyes brimming with tears. Samuel is the most gentle, tender, patient and fun daddy a boy could ask for. I swear, our home is a living musical sometimes. I'll ask Sam to get Forest boy a bottle or something and all of a sudden Sam bursts into song, dancing around him making up lyrics about what he is doing. Giggles will erupt and my heart feels like it is going to burst. Our little man is IN LOVE with his daddy, let me tell ya. I think one of the most beautiful things in my life has been watching Sam fall into the love of being a daddy. There aren't words. I didn't think I could love him more, then we had a baby and I realized there was a whole unexplored world of love that was just waiting for me as I watched us journey it, all 3 of us, together.

Samuel:
Being a Dad is a whole different experience, more than anything I've ever had the privilege to take on and dive into. It's one thing, being responsible for yourself and your own needs. It's another thing entirely, to know that you have a child that is absolutely dependent on you. You're the one, through your everyday decisions and depth of love that will by in large, effect the rest of their life. It can sound like an incredible amount of pressure, or you can see it as an amazing adventure. No doubt there will be an incredible amount of self-sacrifice that goes into this journey. But, then again… you already knew that right? From  sacrificing time, sleep, your appetite after changing a diaper for your tired wife or your choices of entertainment ..yes, Jess and I find ourselves actually watching Baby Einstein or the Mickey Mouse Club at times. Ha!

That being said, here a few things I've learned from being a Dad:

1. Enjoy each season of your child's life as much as you possibly can. Everyone tells you this but, it is a reality that will smack you in the face. They change so quickly, and before you know it, you're not changing diapers anymore, you'll be changing your insurance policy.

2. Be the example that you want your child to grow up to be. Chances are, they'll end up being a lot like you. What you do, touch, or watch, are the things that they will gravitate toward. Teach by example and live a life  that your child can mimic.

3. Love that kid like you've never loved anything else. Be creative in the way you love them. Spend time with them, like you're a millionaire. It's the best investment you can or will ever make. 

Papa Said V.1

It has been so hard not to post this months ago when the first "Papa Said" arrived in my inbox, but I knew that I wanted to wait all the way until Father's Day to share this new mini-series with all of you. And now, today's the day!  For the next eight weeks I'll be posting special words of wisdom from some of my favorite ladies' baby daddies, as a companion to the original Mama Says project. And today, we'll be hearing from mine!  Before we get into that though, I have to say thank you to the wonderful Jess over at TART for allowing me to use this adorable photo of her hubby D and their daughter Rowan. I've always loved this picture, and it's truly the perfect choice for this series' feature image. So thanks Jess!  We''ll be hearing from them in a couple of weeks too.

But today is all about my wonderful husband, Hank.  We've been together for seven years, married for three, and since becoming parents, I don't think I've ever loved him more.  It's amazing to see Hank as a father, and I may be biased, but I think he's the best Dad in the entire world. He's a total family man and always puts us first. I love the way he loves Henry, and it's been beyond amazing watching him become a Dad and and to watch him fall so in love with his son. Our marriage was always great, but I feel like since having Henry it's on such a different level. I don't think there's anything that melts my heart more than seeing them together, and no matter how long his work day is, he always finds time to laugh and play and roll around the floor with our little guy. Henry adores him and completely lights up whenever he comes into the room, and I just feel so lucky to be married to someone who will always make parenting his priority. I can't put into words how much I appreciate him.

So, happy first Father's Day, Hank! We love you.

And now, here's his "Papa Said" advice!

When Danielle asked me to do this I was so excited. I get to share a few things that I think are key?!   As I thought about it more I realized this was a big task. There are a lot of things that I wish I had known or someone had said to me before we had Henry. Then I realized, I was over thinking the whole thing. It's actually really simple and for me it's getting back to the basics!

The first thing I realized is you can't be too cool. Trust me, I'm too cool a lot of the time. It's probably kind of annoying actually, but that's me. Here's the thing, that all goes out the window once you have a kid. You have to embrace it because you will do whatever you have to to make your kid laugh or smile. I realized for me it's actually about being a kid again. Kids are never scared of being funny or silly. Yeah, sometimes I dance around to make Henry laugh. Sometimes I sing whatever it is I'm doing because I feel like it's good for him to know what's going on, and for some reason it seems like a song is maybe a little more fun for him. It can really be anything. All I know is this, I love him more than life itself and I will do whatever it takes to get a smile or laugh out of him. Did I ever imagine I'd be at a swim class singing "wheels on the bus" with my son? No, but I'm sure glad I am! I think in general being light-hearted and not being too cool for anything is what makes for an awesome parent.  As Henry continues to grow I will embrace it all. If he wants to see those kids movies that make me cringe, I will do it. I love him, I just want him to truly enjoy his childhood and always know that dad was stoked on everything we were doing!

Another aspect if having a baby I found to be really interesting was how everyone likes to tell you how they went about raising their kids. How so and so liked this or that so you MUST need it. Here's the bottom line, we got so much stuff when Henry was born. We have stuff still in the packages that has never been used. Once we decided to listen to Henry things got a lot more clear. He doesn't like to be swaddled, he ended up not liking the sleep sack, he just wants his old run of the mill footie pajamas (I don't blame him, I wish I had some too!). This isn't to say that I don't appreciate advice, because I do. It's to say that once we started listening to Henry and his feelings this became a lot more clear. We know what makes him happy and we know what he dislikes. We try new things out but we aren't so quick to rush out and get this or that. It was a epiphany for me when I realized we should listen to him.

The last thought I had, which seems like the most obvious, is this: do not let one second slip by without saving some little part of it in your head. When i was growing up I would complain about wanting to be 18 and my parents would always say it goes by so fast, you'll be there sooner than you realize. Well sure enough they were right. It goes by so quick and I never understood until I was a parent how true that was. Henry will be 7 months in a few days. That is beyond mind blowing. It was just the other day when we brought him home. Now he's crawling around, making cute noises, trying to figure how to stand and starting to be really amused by his parents. Honestly the time has gone so fast. It kills me. I squeeze him and just try to take it all in. I'm not going to have this time back, ever. I know that's such a harsh thing to say but it's reality. I realized now why my parents said that and why it would make them sad when I would say I couldn't wait to grow up. Treasure every moment possible. Thankfully for me Danielle is a master of documenting so we have so much of Henry's life on video or in pictures that makes it slightly less painful. Not by much though. There have been many moments that weren't caught that I just tried to soak in. He's brought me to tears a few times and those amazing memories will live in my head forever. I could go on but you get the point, treasure every moment.

I hope this seems like some okay advice. I know starting out being a dad can be a little crazy, you're not sure what to expect or what you should even be doing. Go with your gut and be light hearted, I think these things are keys. Good luck!